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1. |
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i crap pant
all day & night i crap pant
i crap pant
before a fight i crap pant
long ago my pants were clean
currently they are obscene
filled with crap to the brim
that's why i repeat this hymn
i crap pant
all day & night i crap pant
i crap pant
it's within my right to crap pant
bathroom lines are what i hate
anytime i'm on a date
crap pant saves time you see
i hope she understands the real me
cuz
i crap pant
all day & night i crap pant
i crap pant
it's now my life to crap pant
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2. |
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As I stumble through the graveyard
after puking in the pub
Billie Holiday is howling
like a funeral through my blood
and a lilac breeze is blowing
through the nakedness of night
as a lonesome candle flickers
and the darkness dreams of light
as I tumble through the daisies
and I squint up at the moon
I can hear the druids laughing
as they dance around my doom
I am sifting through my sadness
I am scratching at my scars
I am crippled in the clover
I am tangled in the stars
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3. |
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If I tell the punchline wrong in front of your friends,
If I forget the difference between a bolt and a belt,
If I ruin our first date because I’m scared of roller coasters,
Will you still love me?
If I don’t answer you because my book is just too good,
If I forget to pay a major bill or two,
Will you keep me warm in our heatless, waterless house and
Will you still love me?
If our children scrabbling with the cats and the dogs and each other
Is not enough to drive us apart, and if you can erase the
Marker from the walls but not the bruises from under your eyes,
Will you still love me?
If calculations start to come before communication
And a whole Saturday passes before I hear you laugh
Even though the TV plays all your favorite reruns,
Will you still love me?
If I begin to have recurring dreams of someone new,
And letting your hand swing unclasped between us
Leads to letting our bed stay uncreased through the morning,
Will you still love me?
If I start to worry every time your eyes leave mine,
Can you wrap yourself around me and my every insecurity
And can you please, maybe, please let me know –
Will you still love me?
If you can outlast the cracking of my skin,
Of the beauty unpouring itself from my waistline
And dissolving in the cracks of my laughlines,
Will you still love me?
If my lips lose their flavor,
If my bones start to creak,
If my heart grows too cluttered,
If my mind floats adrift,
If I forget how to read the map of your face,
If the years take me down beneath a lightless sea –
Tell me truthfully, and don’t spare this old age-weakened heart –
Will you still love me?
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4. |
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I’m up at 6 every morning
Well really more like 10
I was up late last night, having meaningful sex
With a newly met good friend
I pull on a fresh tank top
‘Cause I’m a well-dressed guy
I have to hide myself from all the girls
Don’t even have to try
Tonight there is a party
With lots of ladies, but never hoes
I hold the door and keep the drinks all filled
I”m not like the other bros
She and I start talking
As I hand her another beer
She says to me, “you’re the nicest guy”
They love my sensitive ear
I suggest we go to my room
“It’s quieter,” I say real quick
First I turn to my bro and say, “she called me a nice guy,
And that means, she wants my dick”
All her friends are intrigued
because she said, “but he’s nice!”
They come to me, and that ass is like a cheesecake
You know I’ll have a slice
You see underneath the nice guy
And the caring, passionate soul
There’s a different sort of guy
He knows my major goal
To get that ass
To get that ass
He's looking for that ass
Looking for that ass
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5. |
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Ain't got no money
just coupons and bread
an old and hard piece of bread!
got no salad to dress
my girlfriend left, she took my meals
I have a pan but no pancake mix
my only spice is a lonely pepper corn
lying crushed on the floor
I'll take a last look in the fridge
hope there was something I missed
oh look, what could this be?
a fried piece of ham it seems
fried piece of ham!
fried piece of ham!
thick cut and smoked s-s-sad fried piece of ham
gotta get it together
can't go on this way
oh but if only there was
some nice food to begin
I'll take a last look in the fridge
hope there was something I missed
oh look, what could this be?
a fried piece of ham it seems
fried piece of ham!
fried piece of ham!
thick cut and smoked s-s-sad fried piece of ham
fried piece of ham!
fried piece of ham!
thick cut and smoked s-s-sad fried piece of ham
Oh what i’d give
For some sushi rolls
Meanwhile I’ll have to set
With some crunchy freezer frost
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6. |
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Swiss cheese is so fine
String cheese is so divine
Need my teddy
Body's Weak
Eyes are heavy
'Bout to fall asleep
Fuck the ozone layer
it's shitty as hell
I hope it gets destroyed by CFCs
Well I'll die, but I don't care
Because fuck the ozone layer
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
On fields which we once did vape
Asian culture. Charlie Brown
There's a new horse in this town
Mario Maker, Mr Ed
A homeless man pooped in my bed
[repeat]
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7. |
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Every single morning I wake up in a state of peace.
As if part of the void, or an emptiness at least.
When not quite awake, life itself can be like a dream.
Like the pop tarts that are flavoured like cookies and cream.
My god and your god are both just the same.
But you gave your god some other name.
Truth is, I can’t really write music.
I don’t fucking know how.
It’s, like, really difficult.
I keep counting all the syllables in each line.
Rhyming en and em has got to be a crime.
But it actually makes this a lot easier.
Syllables don’t matter if you sing wheezier.
I was trying to be super serious about this.
But nobody really cares if your lines don’t rhyme.
Well, maybe some people do.
But I don’t really care who.
Point is, I can’t wait to die.
Heaven and hell are no different.
It’s all about semantics.
And other –antics.
I wish I could play music.
But I actually cannot do that at all.
My god and your god are both just the same.
But you gave your god some other name.
Back on point: if you’re happy, maybe there’s nothing.
And if you’re sad, maybe there’s nothing.
If death is a void then it would be both.
So heaven and hell are just how you label it.
Also god is random quantum oscillations.
Hear me out, in a musical manner.
God controls the universe in a way we can’t understand.
Due to the uncertainty principle.
We can’t 100% understand how quantum oscillations happen.
My god and your god are both just the same.
But you gave your god some other name.
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8. |
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Her eyes, like two greasy date pits
Like date pits
Her lips, two greasy pits
Her hands, also like date pits
In a number of ways
[repeat]
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9. |
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10. |
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While the wind whispers,
My heart feels as cold
As the air in winter.
My knees feel old,
Like I’m walking with nowhere to go.
Like I’m walking with nowhere to go.
Thinking back, on the different past-
My memories fading like the light in the sky,
Or the leaves on the passing trees
Turning dark red from their evergreen,
From their evergreen
Falling from the branch with such grace
I look up as the wind blows harder than before,
And my hair whipping my face.
Oh my hair whipping my face.
Don’t know where I’m going on this journey,
And I don’t know where it’ll end.
The only thing I know is
That I want to see you again
Oh the only thing I know
I want to see you again
Again
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11. |
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When the rose begins to wilt
At the end of the day we’ve built
I’ll be there for you
When the sun grows and dies
And it burns away the skies
I’ll be there for you
If I live forever, and ever, and ever
I’ll be there when the sun burns the skies
When the galaxy fades to grey
The heat has long drifted away
I’ll be there for you
If I live forever, and ever, and ever
I’ll be there when the heat fades away
If I live forever, and ever, and ever
I’ll be there for you
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all of the lyrics of this album were written by twitter followers of @ruinedpicnic, and some performances where cited. the music was composed and performed by ruinedpicnic, poorly, and recorded poorly. all of this was done in 7 hours. thank you for listening to the music of ruined picnic and his friends.
